Twenty Miles

I'm training for my third marathon, thus this marks the third time I've done a 20 miler. I can't believe I'm saying this, but they do actually get easier. That being said, I'm two days past this endeavor, and I'm pooped. Lots of reasons, but the point I'd like to take away from this one is that I need to drink more water after these monster runs. Lots more.

Two Reasons I Love Running

I had this for dinner:

Japanese Chili Ramen from Pei Wei

I had this for dessert:

Root Beer Bundt Cake

These are the days I LOVE distance running. Yummy in my tummy. Bring on the 20 miler!!

More Bellyachin'

I ran 16 this past Saturday, and it went pretty well. And I'm super thankful. Because everything since then has been complete and total shit. I apologize for the colorful language, but sometimes nothing else will do.

Today was scheduled for a seven miler, with four of those miles being at 9:00 pace. I may have gotten the four in at target pace (Chris was slightly ahead and had the Garmin). I don't know and I don't care. It doesn't really matter if you feel like complete shit (there I go again). I DO know that I had to walk the last mile home, because I was completely spent.

There were many sabotaging factors:

• I was sweating Pinot from last night's book group
• I stayed up too late watching trash TV when I got home from book group
• In an attempt to please my children, I prepared and ate a completely shitty dinner.

So, today I am declaring that I will be even more self-centered than normal for the next four weeks. I'm going to eat well and endure the complaining of my kids. I'm going to go to bed on time and endure the complaining of my better half. Social events (which, at best, are a struggle for me) are going to be kept to a minimum. I'm entering my pre-marathon isolation chamber. I will see you on October 3. If you see me between now and then, ignore me, because I'M GRUMPY!!!!

I Can, I Will

I am, um, tired of running I think. Not like 'I never want to run again' tired, just 'why did I sign up for another stinking marathon' tired. I am confident it is just a function of where I am in the training cycle, but I am mentally drained. I am trying to keep my eyes on the prize, though. Just two more long runs (18 and 20 milers), then taper time. I can do this. I can do this. I can do this. Just trying to convince myself here, folks...

Chugging along

I think there's only something like 7 weeks left until Twin Cities Marathon. Craziness. We ran a 15 this weekend. I brought two Gu's and only ate one, and completely ran out of gas by the end. As in, so out of gas that I couldn't communicate clearly with my running partner (who I happen to be married to). Stupid mistake. Overall, a pretty good run, though.

Urban Wildland 2011

The best thing I can say about this is that it's done. I still feel like I'm struggling a bit. It's not that I'm disappointed with my time (primary goal for the day was to cover miles and come in under two hours), but I'm frustrated with the way I felt during this run. At mile eight I really wanted to just quit. I was thoroughly soaked (yet again) with sweat, from head to toe; and I just felt damn tired. Humidity was obviously a factor, and it's not like I was really in a position to win (HA!), or PR, or any of that good stuff; but I did not anticipate feeling such mental defeat. Pretty uncommon for me on a race day. I will, however, keep on chugging. Just got to keep putting one foot in front of the other...

"Weakness, doubt, and fear are parts of the human condition. Facing them instead of fabricating an elaborate ruse to sidestep them--hoping to avoid them but ultimately carrying them in our hearts and minds and psyche until they whittle away at our being--gives us a direct route to hope and dreams. Along the way, we reap all those other by-products that make the suffering a tonic for our souls."

This past May I took a trip to L.A. (Larned, America, population <5000 in the heart of Kansas) to celebrate my niece's high school graduation. Due to all sorts of scheduling challenges and high air fares, the husband and kids stayed home. I left on a Friday morning and got home the following Monday evening. Yes, I love my family and I did miss them, but it was a glorious little break. Knowing I would have two two hour flights, I began the search for reading material. I was looking for something related to running. Fiction, non-fiction... I didn't really care. I just wanted to lose myself in some good running literature.

Via the Kindle browsing option, I stumbled into this. After reading the free sample, I was hooked. This was when I was getting to the bitter end of the training cycle for Grandma's Marathon, and it provided a great boost to get me to race day. I ended up with 10 highlighted sections (I never knew I was such a highlighter until I got a Kindle... LOVE that option!). Included in those 10 was the excerpt at the top of this post.

I post it today because I think I'm in a face my fears zone right now. I'm two months out from Twin Cities Marathon, which I hemmed and hawed about for multiple weeks, trying to decide if I wanted to sign up for it. Why the hemming and hawing? Fear. Why fear? There are many reasons I suppose. One of which is that 26.2 miles on foot is a damn long distance. Another of which is the fear of setting a goal. Is it time to go for that sub-four marathon? I wouldn't have thought so, but after my 4:02 finish at Grandma's, I suppose I need to think about it. The Twin Cities course is a completely different beast than Grandma's though. Narrower streets make for a more crowded route, the topography of the course is certainly hillier than Grandma's nearly all downhill route, and the odds of having a day as perfect for running as I had on June 18th seem pretty slim. Everything I'm saying here boils down to one ugly little ol' word: Fear.

It's not a big deal. Truth be told, I've feared a lot of things in my life, but it's never actually stopped me from doing what needed to be done. This time will be no exception. I will get to the finish line. I just need to do a little gut check and get it done.

Since this post has an overall whiny tone to it, I'm going to throw in some griping about the weather. I love, love, love summer. I really do. However, I think 11 years in Minnesota has softened me. The heat and especially the humidity have been taking it out of me lately. After every run (long, short, fast, slow... it makes no difference) I am pretty much drenched from head to toe with sweat. I have not seemed to be able to find a super effective means of replacing the lost fluids. As a result, I frequently end up spending the afternoons of days I run feeling super run down, and often with a splitting headache. This does not help with my marathon anxiety.

Anyhoo... everything really is fine here. I'm just enjoying the trial of miles and miles of trials.