Reasons Why I’m Running Scared Include, But Are Not Limited To...

(Originally posted on 3/16/2010 on a now defunct blog)

1. Duh. It’s 26.2 miles.

2. Last spring I suffered a stress fracture in my left tibia, denying me of one of my favorite things in the whole world: outdoor running in the Minnesota summer. I did as I was told, and after about 12 weeks I was back in the game, just in time to run the Twin Cities 10 Mile.

So, post- stress fracture, I ran the TC 10 Mile. Not my greatest race by any stretch of the imagination. I didn’t feel super prepared, as the injury had kept me from logging the kind of miles I would have liked. But, I finished and felt good. A few weeks later, I completed the Team Ortho Monster Dash half marathon. Let’s just say that was a rough day. I felt like crap and my running showed it. But… I finished and life was good, and I had zero pain in my leg.

Since that time, I have generally felt good; though I am a complete mental case about this stinking leg. I have not had any pain while running, but I’m thinking about it ALL THE DAMN TIME when I run. The mental process tends to go something like this: What was that? Does my leg hurt? Did I feel something? Is that a twinge in my leg? No. The leg is fine. But, what if it’s not? What if I get hurt again? Summer’s around the corner. Am I going to be hurt again? I don’t want to be hurt again. And on and on and on. If I could just shut my stupid mind off, I would be fine.

3. I fear that I will run the slowest marathon ever recorded in human history. This is completely irrational, but rationality has never really been my forte. Prior to the injury, I ran a handful of half marathons, and enjoyed a personal best every time I ran one (a perk of starting running later in life). I’m not a natural born runner, but hard work had put me in the category of being almost respectable in terms of pace. I’m not sure I’ll ever get back there. Not that it should matter, but, you know…

For the record, I did actually run yesterday (in case you think all I did was sit around and blog). I have no idea how far we went. We ran nearly 60 minutes, and I stayed mostly in my zone 2, so probably under six miles. BUT… it was in western Kansas wind. And, I'm setting out to go again. WHOOSH...